Most of us remember the Sex and the City scene where Berger breaks up with Carrie on a Post-it note. Brutal. Unforgettable. And, if we’re honest, not that far off from how a lot of adults handle uncomfortable conversations.
Especially at work.
I didn’t always realize this because I thought avoiding hard conversations was the “nice” thing to do. I told myself I was being thoughtful, or giving things time, or choosing my battles. Really, I was just uncomfortable and hoping the issue would fade on its own.
It usually didn’t.
When things get hard at work—missed expectations, tension on a team, performance issues—we get indirect. We soften the message. We wait too long. We send the email instead of having the conversation. We tell ourselves it’s not a big deal, even when it is.
That’s the adult version of the Post-it breakup.
I’ve been on both sides of it. And what I’ve learned the hard way is that avoidance doesn’t protect relationships. It just creates confusion. People don’t know where they stand. Small issues grow. Resentment fills in the gaps where clarity should have been.
Good communication isn’t about being fearless or saying things perfectly. It’s about being willing to sit in a little discomfort so things don’t quietly fall apart.
In the next post, I’ll share what’s actually helped me get better at these conversations—without scripts, corporate speak, or pretending it’s easy.